Sleeper
by liliaeth
Summary: Spike's been dreaming of killing (completed)
1. Dreaming

He let her run, letting her escape time and time again. Her face turned to him in horror when she finally slipped and saw him standing in front of her. Sweat dropped from her cheeks combining itself with the scent of fear.

"Please."

But he just got closer, licking the sweat from her nose, tasting the teardrops from her chin. She tried to crawl out of the way, he grabbed her, pulling her in what looked like an embrace. Her neck pulsed and he didn't hesitate as he bit in. 

And she still lay there, too weakened to move, yet still alive. Still alive as he pulled up her skirt, still strong enough to scream as he took her. And he smiled as her screams filled the room, knowing that the only ones who'd hear her wouldn't give a damn.

  


***********  


He woke up crying. Holding his hands to his ears, desperate not to listen, but it didn't stop him from hearing the crying, the pleading. Spike leaned back against the wall, his head resting against the cold stone. The kids' voices rang through the room, a mixture of pitter patter, constant chatter, and heartbeats ranging from normal to fast. He could smell them, the entire time, some of them had their monthlies, he pretended not to know, but it was hard to ignore. The smell of it, the blood rushing down. And none of it for him.

He winced at the thought, at even the idea. Maybe he should be chained up, let Buffy make sure that he wouldn't do anything, but she'd hidden the chains, refusing to let him know where they were. He had to get out of here. But could he? No one stopped him as he left, no one stopped him as he wandered through town. No one followed him either. Did she trust him, or were they just too busy to worry about one errant vampire?  
  
Night was over before he knew it and as he opened the door of the Summer's home, everyone was already sleeping. He quickly moved past them, down into the basement. He smiled as he noticed Dawn sleeping in his cot. She merely woke up for a second as he tucked her in and lay down on the ground. His head resting against the wall as he stared at the ceiling. Free, unleashed and hopelessly in love. God Buffy, how could you ever trust me.  
  
He didn't dare sleep.

*****

  
They found the body the next morning, it was lying on the couch where the woman had lived, her nice dress had been ripped open. Terror still on the poor girl's face. Just one fatal wound, neck rupture as the official files would say it. Vampires as they all knew, but noone would admit.  
  
Blond, beautiful and dead.  
  
The third in a week.  
  
Just a few more names in the obituaries.

*****

  


The boy was screaming, hard, loud, begging for him not to... begging for him to end it. He could feel the blood trickle onto him as he took the small body. He let go for a second, just to smell it before rushing in again.  
  
He didn't finish until the boy's screaming had faded into sobbing. All his bluster faded away, leaving nothing but a scared child. It was only then that he bit in, swallowing the fear.

******

Spike stood over the sink, scrubbing wildly. He couldn't see himself in the mirror, but if he could, he was sure that his whole blody was stained with blood. He tried to get the stink out, but it wouldn't help; no matter how hard he rubbed, he could still smell it. His own blood poured out from the wounds he'd opened, but even that wouldn't cleanse him.  
  
"Spike are you..." She stopped in mid-sentence, staring at him. He froze, she wasn't supposed to see this. "Oh God Spike what are you doing." He didn't even fight as she ripped the sponge from his hands, holding him. He didn't want to, knew he wasn't worth it, but she pulled him in her arms anyway. Blood was getting on her white sweater, but she didn't seem to mind.  
  
"What's going on?" Harris sounded suitably enraged when he found them like that. Spike wished he could grab for a towel, anything to hide his shame. He was half-naked, way too close to Buffy and Harris would be right to hate him for that. But Buffy still didn't let go.  
  
"It's alright, Xander."  
  
Harris glared once more before turning his back on them without a word. Spike slid out of Buffy's arms, dropping down on the floor. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go; she was supposed to hate him. "I keep dreaming of killing," he finally whispered.

  
"Nightmares."  
  
"I wish. I wish it were nightmares, but that's the worst of it. I keep enjoying them. I know I should hate myself, and I do. I hate hurting them, hearing them. But part of me just loves the pain, the screams. Oh God Buffy. I'm nothing but a monster."  
  
She didn't answer, just kneeled down next to him, holding his hand. She didn't have to say a word, just her being there. He flinched as she touched him with a wet towel, cleaning him up. If only it were that easy.   
  
She'd given him some clothes, helped him get dressed and went downstairs. Even though she'd asked, he hadn't followed her, just stuck on the stairs. He couldn't help listening, but facing them would be too much.  
  
"We should just stake him." At least the bleeding carpenter was predictable as always. Now if only she'd listen to him.  
  
"No!!" Silence followed her outcry. "He doesn't want to harm anyone Xander. He's having nightmares, the least we can do is help him with them."  
  
"Sure, like he was just harmless when the First used him the last time. Buffy... I know he's changed, but what if the First has him killing again. The least we should do is chain him up, make sure he isn't..."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Buffy." Giles would bring her to her senses, he had to.  
  
"I trust him. Spike won't harm anyone. I'm sure of it."  
  
He could hear her walking up the stairs, giving him one look before continuing to her room. He stared down at the group downstairs. The Potentials, the Scoobies, and the Watcher. He finally managed to get himself to walk downstairs. Their stares felt like whiplashes burning in his skin following him down as he moved to the basement. One small whisper. "Please lock the door." Giles nodded and followed him. It wouldn't be much, but it'd give them at least a few seconds before he'd break through it.

*****

Blood, bathing in it. Their eyes, pulling them out and carrying them in his pockets, his hands drenched in blood.  
  
Spike woke up screaming, staring at the blood on his hands. What had he done?

tbc


	2. Guilt

Title: Sleeper   
Author:Lore  
Summary: Spike finds himself dreaming

Three brown bears, papa bear, mama bear and little baby bear. All dressed up and nowhere left to go. He'd noticed them as they left the movie theatre, followed them, hearing the little one chatter on. His mama indulged him, laughing at the jokes, playing with his hair. Papa just held on to the both of them. Such a sweet tableau, nothing showing of the other truth that had to be there. The cruel remarks playing behind every family scene. The hard words, the dissapointments. Happy happy happy. He growled as they did exactly what he wanted them to, walking into the alley. A brief shortcut, a fast way to the car, and to their deaths.

Papa Bear stared at him, huge, massive. His beard would scratch, the vampire knew that from experience. They looked at him and didn't understand. Papa Bear stood before his cub and mate trying to protect them, but it'd never matter now would it?

He broke the female's neck before the man could even blink. The little boy started hitting him as he turned to the man, but he just pushed him out of the way and up against the wall. The little body fell down. Blood dripped from the wall. Such a waste of fine innocent blood.

The man stared at him, but he couldn't fight as he was pushed down. "Come on, Papa, fight like a man." Such a joke, the big man didn't even think about fighting, just whimpered, terrified. And as the game got boring he pushed him down and killed him.

The little boy's dead eyes stared at him.

******

Spike sat trembling on the kitchen chair, listening only half as the girls near-unconsciously avoided getting close to him. He wanted to leave, to get rid of the pressure, but if he did... He couldn't leave; who knows what he might do?

Dawn stared at him, unwilling to face him. He remembered another innocent little face like that and he'd used the horror of that death as a campfire tale to Dawn. Oh god, he wanted to throw up.

Willow was carrying a newspaper. He froze at seeing the picture on the front page. Backing off almost instantly. Nearly dropping over the next chair.

"Spike?" He kept staring at the picture. Blue eyes staring at him.

He forced himself up against the wall, hitting his head continuously. Trying to beat the evil out of himself. It was Xander who stopped him, holding his hand and getting head in his place. He stared with open jaw at the boy lying on the ground.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"

He jumped up and ran to the basement, forcing himself down the stairs, falling down the last few steps. They still came after him, the witch, the boy, and the Watcher. He huddled against the wall.

"I killed her." He started hitting his head against the wall, but found himself stopped by the witch. "Bad William. Bad bad bad bad..."

He hated the pity in their eyes, but worse was the knowing that whatever he tried, it would never be enough, never make him a better man.

*****

Sweet trickles of blood slipping down, sucking it in, swallowing it like a popsicle. Pulling him in for it all, the whole experience. Loving it all. Feeling his fangs sink into still living flesh, feeling the blood vessels break as the blood was sucked out.

******

He woke up again, tied to the cot. He turned his face, seeing Xander sitting on the stairway, pointing a crossbow his way. He rolled over as much as he could, not wanting to see the boy. The glee in her little helper's eyes as he was proven right. 

He could hear the footsteps, could feel the touch on his arm. And he still refused to face him.

"Spike, it's okay."

And that was the clincher to get him to start laughing. So that was it, he was still in the First's stronghold, still a prisoner and a plaything to keep the big bad busy. The real Xander would never show that kind of concern to him, not ever. "You're not real."

"Damn it Spike, do you really think the First would show you me? I went through this with Giles already a few years ago, so don't make me say it again."

"Why don't you just stake me? You don't have to tell her what happened. Just..."

"As if; she'd kick my ass if I even considered it." The boy touched him again. Spike winced at the feel of the warm flesh touching him. "And don't even think about beating yourself up again. We just cleaned you up. Nurse nightingale for vampires: not a career choice I ever want to consider again. Got it?" He could barely nod. "Now get yourself together before Buffy gets home and finds you like this."

Buffy, all for her. Every last drop of life that he allowed himself to take was for her.

He couldn't get up, the ropes were too tight. Oh he could break free, if he put a bit of a push in it, but that... "Where's the chains?"

"Wh-... What?"

"The ropes aren't enough, you saw it with the little boy? You'll have to chain me up, Harris."

The boy looked at him in shock. "Oh come on, as if you haven't been wanting to chain me up for years?"

"Nah, you'd like it too much." Did he imagine that leer? Spike stared after him as he got up the stairs.

"Come back here you..." And then he was alone.

tbc


	3. Proxy

"Noooooooooo!!!!" He jumped up, held back by the chains before falling back on himself. He couldn't, couldn't. Tears started falling before he could or even wanted to stop them. Someone was holding his hand, Buffy. She quickly pulled back, but she was there, there for him.

"Spike?"

"I..." Me myself and I. And another number added to a list that stretched on near endlessly.  
  
"Another dream?"  
  
He couldn't answer, shuddering at the notion, but yes, what else could it be?  
  
"It's not you."  
  
His glare was filled with disbelief. How could it not be him? Who else was there, having the dreams, doing... "It's me. I'm remembering.. and the paper. Those people are dead Slayer. Because of me... Because..." Because you didn't stake me before I could kill them.   
  
"Spike." her voice was oddly gentle. Too soft for him. She'd never been soft on him, not until...  
  
"You were locked up. You have been for three nights now. It wasn't you."  
  
"It wasn't...." He didn't dare hope, didn't dare to think that... "Then why?"  
  
She didn't know the answer either. Her hands were folded on her lap as she sat on the cot beside him. He loved her, he hated her for forgiving him, for trusting him. He stared at her, as if hypnotized as her fingers drew small circles on his leg. So beautiful.  
  
******  
  
So beautiful, his black goddess as she bit into him, letting him join her. They fell asleep together. Joined together. And he could feel her mind enter his as she did.  
  
"Yes, my beautiful William."  
  
And he fell himself sink into her, seeing the world through her eyes as she went hunting with her precious daddy. Angelus smirked at her, hitting her in front of him. And Spike couldn't stop him. Feeling his grandsire's hands as Dru had. Feeling Angelus' lips and falling into them. The bite, the bruises. And then screaming, pulling a hapless human towards them. Seeing the good samaritan's face as the poor helpless victim grabbed hold of him and snapped his neck. Feeling that glorious rush through his sire's flesh. Sharing his/her prey with Angelus. And rutting over the still warm corpse.   
  
******  
  
"It was me."  
  
"Spike, didn't you hear what I just said. You can't have..."  
  
"Not my hands or fangs Slayer. But I might as well have..." The chains rattled as he tried to get up. Damn it. "There's a bond between a vampire and his sire." He tried to stop the flow of memories; of Dru making him share his dreams, punishing him when she didn't like them. Of Angelus teaching him a lesson of what a reall kill was about. About seeing Darla and Angelus together and knowing... "When I made a vampire. When that vampire was near, I could hear their dreams, see what they were doing. Not with a minion, they're just controllable, but with a childe, one I spent enough blood on."

"And you think..."

"I never made many. You don't waste your blood that way. But there's a few... And then the First made me..." She closed her eyes. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to face him. Just thinking about the faces of those he'd damned. He sickened himself. "I killed them." And thankfully she didn't deny it.  
  
*****  
  
He'd caught her just after nightfall, running into her on her way home. Slightly suspicious the second she saw him, but not scared enough to run. Little brownhaired girl running. Her fear tasted on his tongue like hot milk.   
  
She'd been so glad to see him. And he could have used that, used that trust. But it wouldn't have been half the fun, now would it?  
  
He let her come just close enough before grabbing her. She shrieked, shocked. He yelped as she kicked his foot. her schoolbag hitting him in the face. Itty bitty Buffy. Delicious. Just fun enough to let her go for a moment. He was just in time to stop her from using her phone, beating it out of her hand and cracking it against the wall.  
  
"Please."  
  
*****  
  
"Dawn!"  
  
tbc


	4. Searching

"So one of the vamps Spike sired is doing the killings?"  
  
"Yes!"  
She didn't even stop arming herself.   
  
"And this vampire has Dawn?"  
  
"Probably," a mere whisper.  
  
"But why take Spike, wouldnt it be better to try and find another way? A locatorspell perhaps."  
  
"Willow already tried that, she came up with nothing. Seems whoever took Dawn, hid her from it somehow."

"Or Dawn could be already dead."

"No."  
  
"Buffy..." She slapped off the watcher's hands.  
  
"She's alive, she has to be."  
Spike shuddered at her fear, at sharing it.   
"And I'm taking Spike because he might remember something from his dreams, some kind of clue. Maybe he could even sense where this vampire is or something."

"Buffy..."  
  
"No discussion Giles. Spike is coming with me and that's final."

Spike stood up, backing Buffy as they left. He could almost feel their glares in his back If only it were as easy as she made it sound. But they were both too desperate to back off.  
Yet anywhere he might htink of going, noone was home. They managed to dust some vampnests, got a few demons, but ohterwise zilch.

He knew there was only one way to get more clues, one thing he could... But she'd already disagreed with him on that one. He insisted again. She struggled, refused, but finally she caved. 

She made some jokes as they entered the hospital. About this being easy on her, the whole sneaking in places stuff; she had more than enough experience in that field. But the joke fell flat for the both of them. She surprised him though, 'convinced' a doctor to help them. Spike worried for a second about the glee he felt in seeing her scare the guy. Was he going evil again?  
But he didn't dare discourage her and let out a smile as he lay down on the table.  
  
"Come on doc, shoot me up."

"One two three I want to be sedated."  
He glared up at Buffy, she just stuck out her tongue.

The doctor was still protesting even now. His hypcratic oath urging him to insist how dangerous a dose like this could be. Spike made it easy on him, showed his true face.  
"Thank God I'm not a man then is it."  
He arced up as the anesthetic was injected.

*****

He was walking through near empty hallways. An elderly woman was cleaning the floor but he wasted no time on her. His lips curled up to a smile and he forced the door open. Buffy stood next to a table. A blond vampire was struggling on it. Fighting something. Just perfect. She stood up as if to greet him, but he stopped her before she got that far. Cupping her face gently in his hand, letting their eyes meet for a second as his fingers brushed through her hair.  
She was just a second too late to avoid the chloroform he had in his hand. There was a struggle but he'd outwitted her. Damn he was good.  
  
He took another step, touching the vampire on the table.  
"Spike."  
His hand reached out to the vampire, messing up the carefully gelled up hair.  
"Why did you have to mess it up like that."  
He left a kiss on the vampire's lips.   
"My little traitor."

Another wince from the body, incapable of fighting him now. Oh god how easy they'd made it for him.  
Buffy was still lying on the ground. He grabbed her up by the hair. Now how to show the bitch his appreciation?  
Her lips so shiny, he grabbed them in a hold, kissing her, too bad she wasn't responding yet, but all too soon she would.  
He cradled her in his arms, smelling the brief grasp of vanilla and wondering how she'd smell all mixed up with blood.

*****

Spike woke up on the table. The doctor lay dead on the ground. Buffy was gone. No god no.  
He touched the man's head to be sure. Feeling the blood on his fingers.  
"I'm so sorry."   
For him, for Buffy, for everyone.

"Freeze."  
He stared up, straight in a cop's face.  


tbc


	5. Cops and vampires

  
  
  
One second, two... any more that Buffy's gone, making it harder to   
find her. He got up, noticing but not caring about the gun in his   
face.  
  
"Freeze!"  
  
He was at the door, feeling the gun on him, feeling the gunshots in   
his stomach as he opens the door. Slipping out of his human face,   
turning to him. "Where were you when I was actually evil and killing   
people?"  
  
The cop panicked and kept shooting the door. Spike limped, feeling   
the bullets in his leg and back. And for a few more minutes he could   
pretend they didn't hurt, pretend he could just run off, looking for   
her. People stared at him, he felt his face, still in gameface.   
Still the monster. He didn't care, did he? A child sat frozen in a   
wheelchair, it's father frozen behind it. The boy was screaming as   
he looked at him.  
  
Spike fell down before him, struggling to stay up and get back up   
again. "Am I evil?"  
  
Another shot hit his back, he turned halfway, growling at the cop   
risking innocent citizens by shooting. Another shot; this was   
hurting. The cop got closer, finally kicking him in the face. Spike   
growled, trying to get up again. Another kick, the cop hit him in   
the head with the back of his gun. He fell down, his eyes still   
open, staring as he finally blacked out.  
  
  
****  
  
  
Small cuts, just enough to bleed her. She tried to fight him, hold   
him back. His tongue brushed past her wounds, licking the blood.   
  
"Oh come on Dawnie. Just a wee bit more screaming, can't tell me   
you're all screamed out yet?" He cut her again, trailing his   
fingernail in her cheek.  
  
"Please. No."  
  
She was all naked, all laid out before him. All his.  
  
Buffy was waking up, seeing him with Dawn, yelling his name, begging   
him. How he loved to make her beg, how he'd make her come. Begging   
him to take her instead of Dawn. To please let her sister go. But   
then, it was never a game of either or, the fun was in having both.  
  
"Angel please."  
  
  
******  
  
  
Spike woke up in a cell. His wounds itched, as he knew they would.   
Most of the bullets were gone except for one. He plucked at the   
wound till he got it out.  
  
"Yech. Does your kind do that often?"  
  
"Why not? It itches."  
  
"But its gross!"  
  
"Not as gross as a repurgative demon."  
Spike slowly got up, sitting on the cot and staring at the man   
behind the bars. The cop seemed to be the only one not stinking of   
fear. He could smell it coming from the cells next to them. Fear,   
gutwrenching terror.  
  
"I have to go."  
  
"You're not going anywhere, bloodsucker."  
  
Spike got up, moving to the bars, the cop backed up, pulling out a   
gun.  
  
"Back off." Spike stared into the barrel. It wasn't just another   
peashooter, a good shot could get half your face off in one blow   
with that kind of thing. "So, are you gonna tell me what was   
happening when we caught up to you, or do you stay here and fry with   
the coming of the sun?"  
  
"Damn you. He got her, and because of you he's getting away with it."  
  
"Names, bloodsucker. I need names."  
  
"They wouldn't mean a thing to you."  
  
"Couldn't hurt, though, could it?"  
  
Spike got even closer, as close as the bars'd allow it. "Angelus."   
He said the name with such venom that it created goosebumps across   
the human's skin.  
  
"Quite a name, that. Pretty distinctive."  
  
Spike rattled the bars, emitting a low growl. "Let me out." The man   
just grinned, angering him even more. "If you don't, you'll be   
finding their corpses for weeks... or worse." And he didn't even   
dare consider that worse option.  
  
"Any other names I should know, boy?"  
  
"The name's Spike," he changed to gameface, halting for a second as   
he could feel the cop's trigger finger starting to tense up.  
  
"What about this 'her' you keep mentioning? Who is she?"  
  
"The Slayer. Her and kid sis. Angelus took Dawn, we were trying to   
find her and then he took Buffy as well."  
  
"Buffy... Buffy Summers?"  
  
"Yeah, you bloody well know any other Buffy's?"  
  
"Two or three, but that's not the point. I was just looking at Miss   
Summers' file earlier tonight."  
  
"Oh?" Other Buffy's? Were Americans insane? Joyce he loved the   
woman, but damn, what person would do that to a child?  
  
"This is California, Spike. Buffy's are a quarter apiece in this   
state. But that's not the point, as I said."  
  
"Then what is, and why the hell are you still standing in my way."  
  
"The point is that I could probably use a K-9 unit to track your   
girlfriend down. Unless... you have an idea as to where she is   
already."  
  
"Mate, if I could track them by scent, I'd have already done it.   
Vampire, here, remember?" Spike pulled back, not sure what to   
do. "I... the dreams. I know they're in some kind of room. Not in a   
cave, the walls were all wrong for that. They seemed familiar   
somehow, but I'm not sure why."  
  
"Try to think. Try to remember."  
The Copper believed him, Spike felt a burden drop from his back  
  
"There was a bed in the middle of the room. Red silk sheets. He   
always liked those. Manacles on the wall, Buffy and Dawn...."  
  
"No windows, obviously... what materials were the walls made out of?"  
  
"Just stone. Bit dusty, like the place hadn't been used for a while.   
But then, that's half of Sunnydale for you."  
  
"Hm."  
  
"Oh god, that ceiling. They're in the old mansion on Crawford   
street."  
  
The cop nodded, and started unlocking the door before giving him an   
odd glance. "You recognize a place by the ceiling?"  
  
"You try being paralyzed for a couple of months and see what you end   
up staring at most of the day."  
  
The human got the door open, and gave Spike a level stare. "Listen   
and listen good, Spike-my-lad: I don't like you. I don't like   
vampires in general, but I've been living in this insane town for   
fifteen years, so I'm a little used to you guys. I'm not doing this   
for you, but for those human girls that you say this Angelus   
character is holding captive. You know where they are, and you're   
probably the only one that can get them outta there."  
  
Spike hissed, forcing him against the wall. Yet the cop still didn't   
stop his glare. For a second their glares fought and the vampire   
knew he'd lose. "Thanks."  
  
tbc  



	6. Rumble

They'd driven to the house, Spike had made the cop stop at the front of the driveway. He hadn't asked for the cop's name, and the man hadn't given it. Spike had rushed, ignoring near all driving codes, yet the cop hadn't said anything. He'd just held on to his shotgun. There was simplicity in their alliance; the cop didn't trust him, but they'd work together anyway. He couldn't help but smile no matter how dire the situation really was. Either the cop didn't notice, or he didn't care. 

Spike got out. "Last stop. I'm going in alone."  
  
Balls, the cop didn't listen. "Look pal, I can't watch both my back and yours."  
  
"You won't have to."  
  
"A gun won't kill him."  
  
"It'll stop him, now won't it?"  
  
"I don't even know if he's alone."  
  
"All the better reason not to go in on your own."

Spike growled in frustration, lifting his hands to heaven. He should just knock him out, get him out of the way. But he couldn't. It was stupid, but part of him admired the man. Sure he was just a middleaged cop, with grey hairs and wrinkles. A browbeaten man who'd had a life here in Sunnydale and had probably seen more than he wanted to, but he was too bloody stubborn to give up. Kinda like...  
  
He'd called himself a good man when he was human, but had he really had any idea of what being a good man really was. Or was it just his belief in following the rules of society. He'd tried so hard, yet this guy...he just was.  
  
They entered the house through the back. A minion stood on guard. Spike staked him with a minimum of fuss. He could feel the cop's wince as they entered the main hall. "Goody, wall decorations." The cop wanted to hurry to get the people out of the manacles, but Spike stopped him. "We have to deal with Angelus first." The cop wouldn't budge. Protect and serve. Damn big downside.  
  
Spike got to the first man. The guy looked rugged. Unshaven, his face was black and blue. He didn't flinch, just got ready to glare him down. Spike stared at the manacles for a moment, before grabbing hold of them and ripping them from the wall. He barely got hold of the man before he fell on the ground. His feet still hanging on to the wall. "You could just use the keys." Spike flinched and stared around. Angelus was standing in the doorway, keys dangling from his hand. The man in his arms just muttered something behind the cloth in his mouth.  
  
"Angel."  
  
"You got my invitation?"  
  
"Where's Buffy?"  
  
"Especially since I was so nice to repeat it a couple of times"  
  
"Where are Buffy and Dawn?!" He screamed his question, nearly dropping the man in his arms as he got ready to face Angelus.  
  
"Manners, Spike. But then, you were never proper, now were you?"

They faced off, vampire to vampire. Both moving out of their human faces. Spike stood ready, but it still didn't prepare him when his grandsire hit him. He could feel the man he'd fallen into flinch. Spike got up. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"She's my guest."  
  
He heard a shot behind him. "Copper?" he whispered the word, wishing he'd learned the man's name. A female vampire came to the front, holding the cop up by the neck, ready to bite him. He couldn't let her.  
  
The one man he'd managed to free from the wall had managed to get the rag from his mouth, whispering a name. "Fred." His girlfriend? Spike wasn't sure if he even wanted to care.  
  
"Oh gee Wes. Don't want dear old Fred here to get a snack?" Spike got up from the ground, ignoring the blood trickling from his lips. "No need to get up, Spikey, she can do it all by herself."  
  
"Let him go."  
  
"Protecting the helpless, my boy? Since when have you ever been a champion of the people?"  
  
"Let go."  
  
"But then a guy could do anything to get under the Slayer's skirts, Spikey. Not that there's all that much there."  
  
"If you..."  
  
Angelus was on him before he could continue. Forcing him against the wall. Spike held him off. "You seem to have forgotten something, Spikey: she's mine, like you are. I 'let' you have Drusilla; you only had her because I had no need for her. But you don't take anything that's mine, unless I let you." His fangs came closer to Spike's neck. "Is that clear, boy?" Spike nearly screamed as the fangs pierced his throat. He struggled, but then Angelus had always been stronger than him. Suddenly Angelus let go. Disgustedly spitting out the blood he'd just taken. "You you can't..." The bastard backed off in shock. "When did they curse you, boy?" Spike just glared at him, desperate to get to his feet and defeat the bastard. "Who dared?!" Angelus seemed enraged at the very idea that anyone had dared curse one of his children, more even than at the fact that Spike had betrayed him, was betraying him.  
  
"I did." Spike managed to hit him with a right hook. "I wanted it. No clauses, no escapes; a permanent soul, just like she loves it." He hit his grandsire again, knowing his words hit worse than his fists. Angelus stared at him in shock. "I wanted a soul, for her, to be good for her." Spike froze as Angelus started laughing. It was more insulting than any word to hear that side-splitting laughter coming from his grandsire's lips.

"So much like Daddy, aren't you, Spike? Wanting to be like him so much that you'd let them do that to you." Spike winced at his grandsire's words. "Did Willow stick it in you? Did it hurt? How's it feel to be locked in a cage, held back by nothing but the flimsiest excuse of a soul? Knowing that all your strength is used against you?" Spike didn't know what to say, turned out, he didn't have to as the man called Wes hit Angelus with a crowbar. 

tbc


	7. Vengeance

  
  
  
And the giant fell.  
  
Spike stared at the human towering over his grandsire, holding the crowbar. Angelus was already getting up, but Spike knew better than to let him. Kicking him in the head, forcing his grandsire down until he grabbed hold of It was then that he realized the cops had taken the stakes from his inner pockets.  
  
Angelus was getting up, still laughing, Wes hit him again, but Angelus was about to get the crowbar. Spike ducked out of the way, grabbing a chair and breaking it against the wall, desperate to create a weapon. Angelus was on him, throwing him against the wall.  
  
Wes was getting up again, but the girl attacked him. She hit the man towards them, right on top of Spike and Angel, forcing them both against the ground. The cop was getting up, attacking her with the gun. Why didn't he just shoot?  
  
Knives  
  
Spike grabbed one of the knives from the table, trying to pierce his elder's pristine skin. Wes got up with a makeshift stake in his hands, his wounds were bleeding and Spike could smell the blood dripping down his clothes.  
  
Angelus was fucking smiling. Laughing with them. Damn that son of a bitch.  
  
"Well now, boys, now that hurt." Spike wanted to hurt him even more.  
  
He could hear sobbing coming from his old room. "Dawn." He whispered the name.  
  
"Such a little screamer you got there Spike my boy. All weepy and so easy to break. Buffy positively had tears in her eyes by the time I was finished with the kid."  
  
Spike lost all sign of reason and blindly attacked his grandsire, finally getting him down to the ground, beating his face over and over again. In the end he stared at his grandsires bleeding face, holding a stake up over his chest ready to stake him.  
  
"Spike, no."  
  
He turned around and saw Buffy standing there, holding herself up on the wall and the cop. Wes stood right behind her, Dawn's limp body in his arms. The other vampire had disappeared, ran off most likely.   
  
"If you kill him, he wins."  
  
Spike stared at his grandsire in hatred. Yet for Buffy he managed to stay his hand. He left his grandsire lying there, kicking him down one last time before getting up and moving to his family. He didn't dare touch her, she was barely covered by the cop's windjacket. Her naked legs sticking out from under it. Dawn was covered in a sheet.  
  
Buffy fell in his arms. He knew it was just for support, but he gave her all he had anyway. It was only then that the Slayer allowed herself to cry.  
  
*******  
  
Buffy was holding Dawn, cradling the girl's head in her lap. The cop, he really had to learn that guy's name, had been helping to free the humans tied to the wall. The big black guy, the little gnat that kept glaring at him, and some kind of green demon that, according to Wes, could be trusted.   
  
Angelus was chained to the wall. Spike kept glaring at him, Wes had put a rag in his mouth, to keep him from talking, but that didn't stop him from making kissy faces at Dawn. When was that tosser Harris gonna get here to pick them up damn it. No need to keep Buffy and Dawn here any longer than they had to be.  
  
Wes sat huddled on the ground, staring at a heap of ashes on the floor. "Your girl-friend?" The man stared at him as he lighted a match on the wall. God, he needed a smoke.  
  
"She could have been." Nothing to say to that. "Give me one of those." Spike gave him a fag. The Brit took one swallow and started coughing. "How do you deal with those... demon-sticks?"  
  
"Demon here, remember. No need to breathe."  
  
The man stared at him. "Yes. Of course. So you're a vampire... with a soul."  
  
Soul, schmole. Not like it did more than make him feel like dirt. He leaned up against the wall.  
  
"He's won hasn't he?"  
  
"He's got his vengeance alright. Buffy's devastated, Fred's dead. Gunn won't even look at me. Cordy's ... gone. And you don't look all that well either."  
  
"So why aren't we killing him?"  
  
"Because it's what he wants. It's a double-edged razor. If we kill him, we loose Angel, and he no longer has to suffer from the curse. If we let him live, re-curse him, he gets his vengeance on Angel."  
  
"Yeah right!" Spike scowled, but inside he agreed. Angel would always remember what he did to Buffy. Not just raping her, but taking her sister in front of her, making her watch as he did so... Even if she could ever forgive him for that, the soul inside of his grandsire never would. Dammit, whichever way they took it, the bastard always managed to win.  
  
Spike stared at his grandsire. And the bastard just grinned.  
  
  
tbc


	8. Dealing

Fic: Sleeper  
Author: Lore  
  
  
She was sitting in front of the window in Willow's room. Staring at the tree under the window. Spike had a cup of warm cocoa in his hands, but he couldn't get close enough to her without bursting in flames.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
She kept staring outside, he felt stupid, just standing here. Spike, the vampire waiter. And he couldn't even get to her because of the barrier of light in front of him.  
  
"Just leave it on the dresser."  
  
He did as she asked and waited for her to say more. "Leave me alone Spike." He didn't think so, being alone was the last thing in the world she needed right now. He just wasn't sure if he was the right guy for her to be alone with.  
  
She sighed, got up and picked up the cup. He saw the colour in her cheeks return as she sipped from the cocoa. God she was incredible, a ray of light in a dark world. She touched his hand, allowing him to hold hers. He brushed his lips past her forehead in a quick kiss. He could feel the sun coming up behind the window. But Buffy fell in his arms. "It'll be ok Spike, just stay."  
  
He shivered a mere second and held on to her as if to a lifewire, waiting for the by now familiar tingle of the sun's burn. The sun lingered, softening. His heart didn't beat, he couldn't choke in fear. Yet he was terrified, her life, her light, it was scary. She held on to him though, refusing to let go. Was she killing him?  
  
Only... even as the sun warmed his skin, there still wasn't any burning. He lifted his hand to cover his eyes, she pushed it out of the way, kissing him. "God, Buffy. When I'm with you, all I want is to live."  
  
He woke up wanting.  
  
******  
  
Spike made the trip back to the mansion as soon as he got up. He had to see the man one last time. Once more before he left. Again. Angel's soul had been restored, but no one had dared to undo the locks. They didn't even dare be sure that he did have his soul back, that Angelus wasn't just fooling them again. But that wasn't the only risk. Wes had told him, not all that sympathetic, that Angel hadn't stopped crying since the moment the soul had been restored. That he'd been eying the door and the sunlight behind it. Spike could understand that, reliving those first days with his soul restored over and over again.  
  
He went up to the man, mouthing a half-formed poofter. The soul was there alright. Yet he still didn't find the need to release him.  
  
"I saw your dream." Angel's first words broke the silence that had lasted for several minutes, as Spike had pulled up a chair to sit on and had lit a fag.  
  
"Which one."  
  
"The one this morning. You really love her."  
  
Spike just nodded.  
  
"I... I'm"  
  
"Don't. Don't you dare."  
  
He had no right for vengeance. No right to judge, yet found it impossible to forget Buffy's face as he'd seen her from Angelus eyes. And a big part of that was the way it mixed with his own memories, with hearing her beg for him to stop, telling him no, and he hadn't stopped. The both of them had made her their victim.   
  
"I'll tell them your soul's back. Make sure you keep it that way." He turned his back on the man and left, feeling Angel's glare burning in his back with every step.  
  
****  
  
"Can you ever forgive him?"  
  
"I don't know. I hate what he did. I hate the pain that Dawn's in. And I know it wasn't his fault, he didn't... He was soulless. It's just..." She didn't move as she said those words.  
  
"So when do you think you could tell him that?"  
  
"Is when hell freezes over ok?"  
  
~~end~~


End file.
